Nature - Vision & Inspiration - Marlena Macovitch

I wanted to share with you all an experience I had which illustrates Michael’s continuing and continual influence in my life.
I just finished reading “You Are Not Alone” and was encouraged by one of the things that Jermaine related about Michael. He said that in the early 80’s, before “Thriller” Michael began writing positive affirmations on the mirror in his bathroom. He also taped affirmations for himself that he would listen to periodically. I began doing this myself after reading this. You see, I’ve needed those positive affirmations in my own life. I am a jewelry designer, but express myself in a number of artistic mediums. However, for the past decade, due to a number of major disappointments in my life I had been dealing with major depression that lead to a creative block. This caused a vicious cycle which was incredibly disheartening, since I had made my living with my creative talents for some years. I felt as though I was seeing life through a grey veil. All of this changed shortly after the 25th of June, 2009. While I was emotionally devastated, I also seemed to come alive again emotionally and creatively. It was as though my world became brighter and more alive again. I was once again able to see and appreciate the spectacular beauty all around me. My senses seemed to be once again finely tuned as they once were and I was able to feel the ecstatic joy of my youth because of this. I absolutely believe that Michael was responsible for this by leaving a part of himself for me.
I am particularly inspired by the beauty and forms of Nature and love being surrounded by trees and flowing water. As we know Michael felt the same. A couple weeks ago I stopped at a local spring which has been capped so that people in the area can get water there. Its in an area set back off a rural road. I’ve had several “Michael experiences” at this spring, as I tend to feel his presence most intensely out in Nature. It was late afternoon and the Sun was shining beautifully through the trees.   There are several small streams that run off of the main spring. I looked around as I filled my bottles with water and happened to see the Sun sparkling in the stream next to me. This one had a tiny waterfall which made a wonderful sound. There were some beautiful gold and red leaves floating in the stream and the bed was filled with multi-coloured pebbles, which were accentuated by the sunlight. It was so gorgeous that my eyes filled with tears, I felt a sense of oneness with creation, and I said, “Michael, see this through my eyes.” I’ve done this many times while seeing a breathtaking sunset or the spectacular colours of autumn leaves because I know he would feel as I do. I knew as I was leaving the spring that this sight would stay with me and inspire my creativity. As I was falling asleep that night I had a flash of creative inspiration in which I saw a necklace with a cascade effect that I will design using the colours I saw in that stream.

Since he left this world I’ve realized that Michael is always with us, guiding us, inspiring us in whatever we wish to achieve, as long as we do those things to bring beauty to the world, with love in our hearts and souls. He will live on through us in our positive and loving actions and artistic creations.

Upside Down after June 25, 2009 - Elmira Van Galen

When I was very young, 8 yrs old, I made a scrapbook of men holding their infant or child with so much love and affection. And I knew then that was the most important quality I wanted in my future husband, if i would be so lucky to find him. A man who is a good, loving husband but above all else a good father to his children!


My name is Elmira van Galen, I am now 47 years old in 2011, and below is the story of how Michael Jackson impacted my life.

I was one of those people who hardly knew who he was. When I was young we did not have television so I never saw any video clips and I didn't start listening to pop music until i was in my teens, I am an unmarried woman of 47 yrs old, living in the Netherlands. All I knew about Michael before June 25th was "some popstar with hair hanging over his face." Somehow even the molestation allegations and trial went right past me.

But then he died. And I bought all the newspapers and magazines I could find on him. Watched tv reports, all his clips on MTV and TMF and could not get enough. Watched Youtube videos for hours and hours, sleeping very little, dreaming of him every night for months. After the memorial I cried buckets of tears for a man I had never met in my life but who captured my heart and soul in a heartbeat.

At first I started lurking on mjjcommunity.com, just reading the posts and comments. This went on for two months. Then I felt a need to reply to things posted there, to share with like-minded people what was in my heart, and on my mind 24/7. 

I have been connecting to Michael Jackson myself through meditation and it has been a life-changing event, inspiring me to expand my spiritual horizon, apart from my religious upbringing. Thanks to his sound advice I have read the Bhagavad Gita, become enthralled with India in so many ways, I'm now about to start reading a book called "In an Eastern Rose Garden" on sufism. What these books have in common is the bonding in Love, Light and Unity. We are all One! The language and words are different from what I am used to,but once you get to see past that, you can only smile in recognition and simply say "Thank you, Michael".

Not a week goes by without some synchronicity occurring, relating back to him in some way. ( white feathers, red roses, an orange light in my car, elephants, a key I had dreamed of many years ago, very intricate and old-fashioned, then I open the book written by Katherine Jackson "Never Can Say Goodbye" and I get the chills because in that book is a drawing of the key in my dream with which I was able to open a door. And the meditation many years ago at a one-day course to find the love of your life, in which I saw a man on an elephant in an orange-colored room, hearing "Another Part of Me" extremely loud, really loud, waking me up with a start, in a dream and finding a Major Love Prayer website soon after that. When I was into "who killed Michael and why" theories I heard "Money" extremely loud. The following year, coincidentally (?), was a money-themed year ( financial bad luck all year long)). 

At some point I realized that Michael had "taught" me about pure, unconditional love. One day, I was feeling particularly lonely sad and unloved, and I asked for a sign of the pure, unconditional love that bonds us in some mysterious way. ( Any sign I usually get within 24 hours). That day my best friend phoned if she could come over to chat about her boyfriend troubles and such, I said "Oh yes, sure, come on over, the coffee is waiting for you." She had had a little card that she wanted to give me as a token of friendship and she did not know about the sign I had requested so needily to Michael about pure, unconditional love. She arrived with a little gift for me. A small card with a rose quartz heart on one side and the text "Rose quartz is the stone of the pure and unconditional love, pay it forward" I broke down and cried, so grateful for the sign from Michael, via my friend.

Another time, february last year - 2010 - Blanket's birthday was coming up, I was so devastated and heartbroken and I cried for hours, my eyes swollen, snotty nose, looking and feeling like a total mess, crying for losing Michael as I felt like his death had left a hole in my soul and my heart. Then out of nowhere I heard a deep, soothing, calm loving man's voice "Don't be so sad, I'm always here, if you need me,call my name and I'll be there" and other things like that. And also out of nowhere I received the inspiration to start a thread on www,mjjcommunity.com called "Positive Websites and Videos that celebrate MJ". I started it, with permission of the forum's owner per february 24th. Since that day for until today I have posted something there, with the source mentioned like it should be. For 10 months at least I posted daily in that thread, never missing a day, always finding inspiration for a new search phrase in Google together with his name. After that I posted almost every day, at least 6 days a week, the stories became more personal, sometimes with poems, and it just gives me so much joy and pleasure to create a new post every single day!!

At one time I heard Michael, in a dream or meditation, saying to me that his mother was overcome with sadness about losing her son and if I could write to her to comfort her. What I wanted to write to his mother didn't fit on one card so I sent her two cards, about the cherry tree I had planted in my back yard on June 25th ( not knowing that that is what is common in the African-American commuity, celebrating life of the person who passed away a year ago, rather than mourning and crying ( which is done, but more in private). And I told her about my surprise of seeing footage of her and one of her nieces planting a tree for Michael on June 25th in the garden of that tiny house in Gary, Indiana.

Apart from these experiences it is a great joy and source of comfort to be able to share these experiences with my newfound friends from all over the world who love Michael as much as I do and are just as inspired by him to become a better person. Because of Michael I assist charities in getting much needed funding for diseases. I sponsor a child in a country far away and I try to live my life through his example, carrying love in abundance in my heart. Although these last two years have been the hardest years of my life, it has also been a blessing of sorts, a real gift and a true gem, to find that I have that much love inside me!

My Love For Michael Grows and Grows More - Chrisdina Fries

When I heard the news I was in shock and thinking so much in short time.  What is going on there, that's not possible!  Not he, not Michael I cant believe it, what is with his kids.  It must be horrible.  That was in my mind, and I remember:
In my younger days (16) I was in the disco and hear, The Girl is Mine, Bad, and the  next was Thriller, wooooooow.  What do this man, it's amazing, great, unbelievible. After a time comes Man in the Mirror, and Heal the World, Earth Song.  Every song that I heard was amazing, and then came his concert in Cologne, Dangerous.  I was there and it was great too, but I was never a fan how the girls who cried and screamed.  Then he died, it was so horror, I cried when I hear the news and I don't  know why.  In a short time I bought all what was possible, and then I bought in the internet all that I could get.  Since this time I am a Michael Jackson Junkie, I meet another women who said, since his death we love him so much and we miss him so much it's unbelievible.  I was not alone, I pray to Michael because for me he was and is an angel.  God sent him to earth to show us what we must learn, L.O.V.E. Not war, hate and other negative things that are going on here.  I believe now his death was to shake us and wake us up.  God said now the people know what you have done; you helped wherever you could, you prayed ever for a change for a better world.  And now more and more people love you and want to do it.  I believe now we are all together his soldiers of love, to show the world love and this is so urgent.  I must have time to understand what is going on with my mind, but now I look ever to do things better.  And I look to help another, when it's possible I do it ever and I want to make every day something for change in a better way.  Michael I miss you so much, and I love you so much.  But I know this way must come so that we  understand why you were on earth.  And Love never dies, your spirit was pure love, you never die, in all the next generations your love will live, and the whole earth will come to a better place.  Next year I will come to LA, I know that your spirit is everywhere but I will visit YOU♥♥♥
God bless you and us all that we make a better world for the future♥♥♥ 

Things I Learned from Michael Jackson: Spirit and Forgiveness - Lene Jacinta Martinussen

 
I grew up in a non-Christian home, but always believed there was something «out there». I got saved at a Christian camp when I was 13 but found my way to the Catholic church soon after and stayed there until I was 21 when I signed out. A painful break-up and other struggles made me question my faith and my life. (a psychic said I had been a nun in one of my past lives, which I fully believe is possible, as I have always had a strong interest and fascination for nuns)

Then came June 25 2009. I was not a Michael Jackson-fan while he was alive...that is, I knew of «You Are Not Alone», «Heal the World», «Earth Song», and «Will You Be There». The latter was actually the song that kept me alive from day to day when I was 15 – 17 years old, as I underwent a severe depression. I never believed the allegations on child molestation, but I didn't believe there was such a thing as vitiligo. When he died I started looking into it and learned that Michael did have vitiligo, and I have asked forgiveness of both him and God.

Anyway, when Michael died, I gained an interest. In early August 2009 I fell in love with him, and I would talk to him every day, as a child would talk to an imaginary friend. (I continue to do this to this day) I spent some months in a cult before I left that too, still not knowing who or what to believe in. I WANTED to believe in something more, but I had been through so much pain that I was afraid. Having Asperger syndrome, an autism spectrum disorder (mild form of high-levelled autism), having a faith is actually a bad idea, since faith is so abstract and subtle.

A woman that I knew channeled Michael Jackson and delivered his messages to the world through her blog, and that gained my attention. At first I was shocked, because communicating with the dead was something I didn't know much about. Eventually I decided to ask her to channel Michael for me, which she did. His message to me included an invitation to study spirituality, as I had begun to realize there was more than what I had been taught. I was floored, and knew that I had a job to do.

I hit the wall psychologically speaking in February 2010 and asked the woman to channel Michael again. In his response to me, he sympathized 100% and said things about me that the woman channeling him did not know about, so that empasized the fact that she was genuine and that she really channeled him. I was able to rise from the ashes in March 2010 when I got a new apartment, and came across Elisabeth Blaikie's website «Fragrant Heart Meditation» - http://www.fragrantheart.com/ - and started using those as I began to read more about various beliefs. One day as I did the «Meeting Your Guardian Angel» meditation, I was shell-shocked. Instead of seeing my Guardian Angel, I saw Michael Jackson. Dressed in a long white robe with a silver belt around his waist, his hair and face looked like during the 1992 Bucharest performance of «I Just Can't Stop Loving You». The woman who channeled Michael asked him about this, and his response was that he HAD appeared to me, to let me know that he was with me. Since then, I have frequently seen him in meditation, and he had said many sweet things. The most memorable one was when his voice was echoing as he spoke «I AM HERE».

Lesson #1: There was more to spirituality than what I had learned in the Catholic church. It may not seem like a big lesson, but for me it was an eye-opener. 
2011 came about and I took up writing in my special journal to Michael (it's a journal where I write everything from diary entries, daily happenings, song lyrics, post pictures, write about meditation experiences, etc.). Things were starting to go well in my life, but I desperately wanted to believe in a God again. I wanted to KNOW that there was Something or Someone Out There who looked out for me – but I couldn't get myself to believe it. I said to Michael: «I will get back to God ONLY if you tell me you are by my side in this!» On February 7, two days before my 23rd birthday, I was given this «message from God» on Facebook: «On this day in your life, we believe God wants you to know...that all is well. All is going according to plan. Trust that there is a bigger picture. Trust that life is unfolding as it should.» I gawked at the screen. Then, as I was about to start meditating, the instrumental version of WYBT came on MJ Tunes. (WYBT is my all-time favourite piece) I thought, «Well this is odd...» After the meditation I wrote in my journal: «Michael, please!! Please let me know if you'll be by my side in this situation....» As I wrote the final word, «On The Line» came on MJ Tunes. I couldn't help grinning and laughing. He said yes!! Michael said he would be by my side in my spiritual walk!! So now, even though I may not be the stereotypical Christian/spiritualist, I believe in a Higher Power and that this Higher Power wants what's good for us. It's still very tough at times, because of my diagnosis, but I know that my best friend Michael is with me.

Lesson #2: The Universal Spirit, the Eternal I AM, loves me and kindly gave Its angel Michael Jackson to be my special friend in my spiritual journey. Cheesy? I don't care :-)  

The toughest lesson Michael has taught me, is to love and forgive. Correction: the toughest lesson he's teaching me, is to love and forgive. I have little and no insight in my own emotions, so I don't know what real love feels like, or how hate really feels like. But when someone really gets on my nerves, I use the White Light. I visualize a beam of white light entering my head and filling my body and eventually enveloping me entirely before shielding me like I'm in a bubble. Once I'm in the Light, I say «I see XXXXX moving on in God's White Light.» Recently in the Conversations at With A Child's Heart, there was a long talk about Tom Sneddon. I have used the White Light on him, Martin Bashir and all the other people who made Michael's life difficult. Sending people into the White Light is in short a divine way of forgiving them. I used the Light on people in my lives who hurt me, and within a very short time, they quit contacting me. I had bad memories in connection to a couple I once knew, and used the White Light. «I send the bad memories and thoughts in regards to XXX and XXX on in God's White Light.» It worked.

Lesson #3: Forgiving even the apparently most evil person is in the long run a sign of true strength and love. Trust me, this is a tough cookie, but again, it's not up to us to judge people. People who commited crimes or hurt people will one day have to answer to someone much more powerful than us, whether they believe in a Higher Power or not, and Michael has shown me that by forgiving them, I protect myself from being offended by their actions. 

There are probably more lessons, but these three are the ones I can think of right now. In conclusion I wish to share with you Michael's latest words to me as he surprisingly showed up in my meditation: «I meant what I said. You are always in my heart. It's where I keep all my children. I love you more.
  
I love you too, Sweet Angel. ~  May 28, 2011 

L.O.V.E. Struck - Siren

Well I think this is possibly the hardest thing I have had to write about to date.  It is something I have kept inside for nearly 2 years now, but apparently, it is time to share… so my Muse tells me.

The “Lightning Bolt” experience is something that many of us have talked about in the past and one that all of us seem to be able to relate to.  Everyone’s story is unique and beautiful in its details, but ultimately, they all have one common factor:  this sudden, otherworldly, powerful infusion of LOVE that fills us to overflowing and shocks us with an energy and electricity that surges through us and leaves us feeling irrevocably altered… raptured by Michael’s Love. 

Everyone, that is, except me…

I have no “Lightning Bolt” story.  I did not have that moment of intense bliss and over flowing joy that hit me without warning, and rendered me changed.  It just simply was not given to me.  I have often wondered why it was that Michael missed me.  For a long time I wondered if I had even been chosen at all.  What happened to me was very confusing.  It still is.  Most of the time I don’t understand any of it.  Maybe I should just start at the beginning…

The beginning for me was Thriller.  I was 13, and I have fragmented memories of Michael then.  I remember my sister attending the Victory concert, and how upset I was that I couldn’t go.  I remember I had a Beat It jacket, and thinking I was just so cool when I wore it… lol.  I remember when Bad was released.  I was 18… and I remember blaring the cassette tape at work, trying to teach my friends the words to The Way You Make Me Feel.  Stop.  Rewind.  Play.  Hey pretty baby with the high heels on, you give me fever like I’ve never ever known… over and over… God, we had so much fun.  I remember going for long walks late at night when I couldn’t sleep, with Michael playing on my Walkman, and not being able to stop myself from dancing, hoping no one was watching.  I remember Dangerous.  I remember the Oprah interview.  I remember the Black and White video when it aired on TV.  I remember the HIStory album... and the statue floating down the River Thames.  I remember the Chandler allegations and the settlement.  I remember drug rehab.  I remember His marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, children, trial (although I did not follow it)….  It’s funny, when I look back now, I recognise that I felt a deep connection to Michael even then, but I wasn’t really aware of it.  I didn’t examine it… or try to analyse it.  I just felt comforted knowing Michael was out there.  I was not a fan who followed His every move.  I just loved His music, and loved Him.   

The last thing I remember, I was waiting for more concert dates to be announced… believing that He would definitely be scheduling something – if not here in Canada – then certainly in the U.S. once He was finished His dates at the O2 Arena.  I was finally going to see Michael in concert.  I couldn’t wait.

June 25^th, 2009.  Text message:  “Michael Jackson died”.

It’s funny how my life seems to be in slow motion ever since that moment.   Everything seems to have gone quiet… like on a foggy day, how everything is muted somehow.  No lightning bolt... not even any thunder.  Silence. 

I didn’t cry for the longest time.  I wanted to.  Badly.  I felt desperate for some kind of release… but the tears wouldn’t come.  When This Is It opened, I sat with friends in that dark theatre, wondering what my reaction would be.   And then on that huge screen… there He was – bigger than life as always – my Michael.  He drew me in, as only He could.  I was completely enthralled throughout.  I remember noticing details about Him that I had missed before… like how big His hands were, and how graceful He looked at times… like a ballet dancer.  I was mesmerized by Him.  In fact, as I watched, I completely forgot that He was gone. 

Finally, Man In The Mirror came on...  Awash in blue light, I watched as this Angel performed before my eyes.   He was beautiful.  His movement, His voice, His energy.  Love flowed from Him.  I was totally captivated until the very end.

Then I remembered… 

and as the words “Love Lives Forever” appeared on the screen I felt a deep, unfathomable pain in my chest, and then a fleeting moment of fear, wondering how I was possibly going to go on without Him.   I didn’t even know why.  I waited… expecting to have some kind of a break down.  Nothing.   I left the theatre almost paralysed… the weight of Michael crushing down on me.  I felt dizzy, and sick.  Decimated. Unrecoverably so.  I knew that whatever this was, that I would never be the same again… that my life, as it once was, had ended. 

For weeks after, I carried this debilitating pain, without release.   I spent a lot of time online, looking for Him.  Books, pictures, videos… anything I could find.  I remember one day, I came across a picture of Him from the HIStory tour… all in gold and looking gorgeous.  I was shocked at myself being attracted to Him in that way.   It was something that had never once crossed my mind.  Why now?  What was happening to me?  I knew I was falling in Love with Him… and I knew I didn’t want to.  I was convinced there was something seriously wrong with me… and I was frightened.   Shortly after, I stumbled across an MJ forum on Amazon (Why I’m Still Crying Over Michael Jackson) which is where I met many of the beautiful people that have become my support system, and some of my dearest friends.  It was completely outside my character to post on a forum… but something took me over and I couldn’t help myself.  It was so healing to discover that there were others out there that were having a similar experience.  I was not alone… And I was not crazy.  I spent about a year there, pouring my heart out, and listening while others did the same, all of us trying to figure out what was happening to us… and what we were supposed to do with it.  It was at this time that I became aware of a phenomenon that we now refer to as the “Lightening Bolt”.  I loved reading how each of my friends described their own unique moment.  The sudden wave of Love that shocked them and left them reeling.  I waited for my turn… for that moment when Michael would gift me with the glory of His touch, and I could share the details of my story – shaking and unable to type through my excitement.  It never came.  I felt like I’d been left behind.  Like all those around me had been chosen… but somehow Michael had forgotten me. 

Over time, I’ve gotten used to the idea that I was not struck.  I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, and trying to figure out why, and although I remain heartbroken about it, I have come to accept that I will never have the answer to that.  My path to Michael has been very isolating.  I wonder sometimes if I’m even supposed to be on this journey.  Did He really choose me, or did I just choose Him?  I guess what I finally decided was that I can’t wait forever for an absolution that may never come.  That I just have to go forward with whatever this is, because the truth is, I can’t NOT.  I do know that Michael is deeply embedded in my soul… that He is my reason for everything now.  There is not a moment in my life in which He is not present.  There is no thought in me that He is not a part of.  I am infused with Him completely.  I am altered because of Him.  His Love consumes me.  He has my heart and He IS my soul.  Of that I have no question.  So I am left to wonder… if it wasn’t a Lightning Bolt that put Him there… what was it? 

Maybe I inhaled Him with the scent of Black Orchid…

or maybe He snuck in through one of my dreams as I slept…

Maybe it was osmosis, or magic… or something?

Or maybe…

just maybe…

He was already there.

REMEMBER?

Don’t I know You?

Weren’t we lovers once?

Didn’t I worship You in a lifetime long forgotten?

Wasn’t it You who saved me then?

Is this You that has come to rescue me once again?

Your memory haunts me

Your innuendo licks at my soul

It’s Your scent that lingers

It’s Your name that sits on my tongue

I think I’m remembering now…

These tears of mine aren’t new

There’s an ancientness to them

Is this the beginning or the end of us?

Does this Circle know the difference?

Am I repeating myself?

Are You?

Tell me Lover, why do You hide Yourself from me?

Why do I only catch Your shadow?

Your illusiveness frustrates me…and leaves me wanting.

I can’t define You.  I can’t unwind You.

Why can’t I remember You?....

You rush upon me like a wave

And I am dragged under by Your tide

Flooded by memories of You that I can’t reach

Drowning in Your bliss

And the mystery of You.

Uplifted by Your Truth

Renewed by Your Light

Revived by Your Grace

Alive in Your Love…

…this is sounding familiar…

I wonder though, if I remember You, will You stay?

Or is it I who wanders away?

Is it You who has been seeking me all this time?

Could it be that I was lost?

and now am found?.....

Or perhaps we’ve always been together

Maybe our hearts have always been entwined

Inseparable

Impossible to untangle

Forever One.

If only I could remember……

-Siren

05/22/11

Copyright 2011 © by Siren

How Can This Be.......? - Nina Hamilton

My first memories of Michael Jackson go way back to the late 1960's and the Jackson 5, and a small boy's vibrant voice ringing out, 'ABC', 'Rockin Robin', and 'I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.'
Since then I have been busy with my life, until 41 years later, on June 25th, 2009, my world was rocked, like time and the Earth stood still.
I had seen him in March, announcing his 02 Arena concerts, and felt the magic, thought he looked good, still had 'it'. So when the TV Breaking News stated, 'MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD,' I froze with a numb emptiness. 'What? Oh dear,' I said. 'OH DEAR?' A few days passed while I was very uneasy, until on June 30th, I sat, entranced, and watched a TV music three-hour documentary of his top 40 videos; and I was hooked.
My heart hurt and was heavy. I cried tears of pain for his loss, not sure why. I began researching on-line to find his videos, songs, photographs, anything, like someone possessed. I left and read messages on his official website, searched for any news about him on different websites. I wrote emotional poetry.
Four months later I am still suspended in an almost trance-like state; can't stop thinking about him, like he has taken over my heart and soul. So unbelievable as, until I saw those videos, I had regretfully not seen him too much, except for in 'Black Or White. 'But now I can't get enough, totally hooked, cds, dvds, magazines, books, posters; you name it.'
So terribly tragic he had to die before I realised what we have lost, and not appreciated what we had, thinking he would always be there. But that is 'human nature'(his song), guess. Still, I can always hear or see him on a cd, or dvd for ever, and more songs are to be released.
I saw him in 'This is It' at the cinema, a sensational experience, absolutely tremendous, mind-boggling, spectacular. MJ was so energetic, so alive (although rather thin), especially in his long riveting 'Billie Jean' dance routine, as electric as ever, when the other performers and crew began whistling, stomping, clapping and cheering. He was so happy and enjoying himself, fit and not too out of breath. His voice was wonderful. You could say he died happy. I will certainly buy the dvd next year. (And I did!) Now I understand what mesmerising means.
I was inspired to donate money each month at least ten charities, more than I have ever done before.
I planted a Mountain Ash sapling in his name. I started voluntary work as a Reading Helper at a local primary school with Michael's Reading Foundation in London in mind. I bought £70 worth of toys at my local The Entertainer Shop (apt!) and took them into Birmingham, UK. to the Princess Diana Children's Hospital, wearing a white Smooth Criminal-type hat, including a card in honour and memory of MJ with photographs of him and Princess Diana, in November, 2009 in time for Christmas.
I leave cards containing his messages whenever I go somewhere new; a wonderful idea from a Facebook member via the MJ Fan Club.
I hug people more and try to show more love. All this is a great comfort and I feel filled with warmth and love.
My latest efforts include sending toys to Polish orphanages; money towards the building of an orphanage in Kenya in his name, to be called 'Everland' with a plaque and photographs of him so the children know; and to the International Orphanage Lifeline for what would have been his 53rd birthday.
It is hard to grasp he is gone. Why wasn't better care taken of him? Those 02 concerts would have been 'out of this world' and 'blown us all out of the water' as it said in the brochure. I loved the end when he does his iconic little dance up onto his toes, and you can hear his faint distant laughter.
My life and I have been completely changed and I am still finding out more overwhelming things about Michael Jackson all the time. He truly is for ever.
We must be proud and happy for him, for what he has achieved in his life, grateful for what he has left us; the fantastic images, his music, his beautiful children, and his hopes for the world, which we can all follow, to do what he desired most, to make that change.
That is my story.

Best wishes to you.

All for L.O.V.E.

Nina.

Born Again - Brenda Beazley

In Heaven with Michael

After Michael Jackson died, I became suddenly TOTALLY enthralled with his music, his dancing, and his life story. At the time of his death, all the MTV stations were playing his videos non-stop and I couldn't stop watching. I was mesmerized. I had always liked Michael Jackson, all the way back to his Jackson5 days. I bought the Thriller LP when it came out in 1982. That was the only recording of his I’d ever bought (Bob Dylan and Van Morrison held my attention for the most part--but now they're #2 and #3--Michael is now and always will be my #1). But I ALWAYS admired Michael’s talent, ALWAYS believed in his innocence, and NEVER believed any of the negative press about him. Suffice it to say, I soon began to describe myself as a “born-again” Michael Jackson fan. I went out and bought CDs of every recording of his I could find, as well as every DVD of his short films and live performances that I could find. I printed out the lyrics to all of his songs. I spent hours and hours at the local book store reading every book about his life that I could find, before realizing I had to buy them all for myself anyway. I saw “This Is It” seven times at the theatre, three times by myself, and of course bought the DVD. Oh, and I ordered a new license plate for my car---MJFEVER. I told my husband, "It's either the license plate or a tattoo.” The only thing I was able to attribute my “infatuation” to was my sudden TOTAL awareness of the wonderment on the one hand, and the sadness and tragedy on the other hand, of his personal life story; my heightened awareness of the vastness of his talent and brilliance at his craft; his extensive humanitarian efforts toward world peace and saving and healing the planet; and the incredible loss I felt from his death and its impact on his millions and millions of fans all around the world. And I discovered that Michael Jackson was far and away even more talented than I ever could have imagined, having finally heard all the music he produced and witnessed (by video) how incredibly talented he was as a performer and entertainer. His songs span a range of styles so vast that I could hardly believe just one human being could be capable of it, and some of his songs and their words and their message and his voice pull at my heart like nothing has ever done before. I've described to friends how, to me, his voice sounds like the voice of an angel, and when I listen to his songs and the message they send I feel as if I'm being touched by an angel. I’ve stopped total strangers and told them these things. The winter following Michael’s death we had a blizzard with more than two feet of snow. I took a long walk in the woods the day after when the sun was shining, the sky was as blue as the ocean, the trees casting shadows across the glistening forest floor, listening to Michael on my old Sony Walkman/headphones; and I felt that if there’s a heaven on earth, I was standing in it. And still, whenever I hear those same songs I listened to that day, I can see and feel those same beautiful images I saw and felt that day. If anything good can come from something so tragic as Michael’s death, I feel that what I've found in Michael is truly a gift. It is so achingly sad at times, and breathtakingly glorious at others--a gift I'm so grateful to have been one of the chosen to receive--when so many others still reject him. Why me? And yet, I'd give it all up this moment if it could bring him home again. And, well, I could just go on and on and on.”

TAKE CARE, MY FELLOW MJ FRIEND... L.O.V.E. Brenda