Since I was a little girl I loved Michael. I didn't even know how to sing his songs straight, they were in English, but I would dance and sing them all wrong (laughs). The rhythm and melodies totally involved me. It was like Michael transported me to another world! My first interest in Michael was when my father brought home a Jackson 5 concert album. The songs were playing and I got the cover (seriously, I was very little back then) and asked: "Daddy, who's this?" (I was pointing to Michael). And my father said: "This is little Michael, the lead singer of the group". He said I had a big smile in my face and started moving. My family also says that I would always ask: "Daddy! I want 'bari santi'" (this is how I understood the name of "Wanna Be Starting Something" back then.. laughs).
Then, while I grew up, Michael's albums were always part of my life. Thriller, Bad... I just loved those. I remember when Moonwalker movie came out, I was simply fascinated.. I watched it so many times (had it recorded in VHS). Then I remember when Black Or White music-video came out on TV. My family, like always, were criticizing him (for "becoming" white), but I loved the video. I remember I tried to find Dangerous album and didn't succeed (I bought the CD only in 2009.. although I had some songs recorded on a cassette tape, I recorded from the radio).
I remember the trials.. his marriage.. but many things were happening in my life in this period and I was not very tuned in.. I totally lost "History Era". Then I remember when "You Rock My World" video came out. I was so happy to see Michael again, the video was amazing. After some time, I saw some news about the new trial and I found it so absurd and felt sad for Michael... I knew he was a wonderful person and all he did was for love. And then he was considered innocent. After that, I lost "tune" with him again, until 2009. Oh, what a year.. my God..
I remember hearing on TV that he was in hospital and then the news said he had passed. I saw the images on CNN (the helicopter).. On a first moment I felt relieved for him, because he had suffered so much and now he was free.. But then, after the public funeral, when I saw Paris speaking and crying, it was when Michael's passing hit me. And it hit me hard. I felt pain and lots of missing (of him). I started looking for every single fact of his life that I had lost, every video, CD, show, interview.. I even lost weight.. It was when I found out some spiritual messages of him and I knew he was doing well in spirit, and that he was happy. Then I was happy for him and my grief started to ease.
After that, amazing things started to happen. I was feeling his presence near me and he would send beautiful signs, such as playing songs in my radio, making a little noise in my ear, sending songs "in my head" when I was thinking of him, a beautiful rainbow in the sky when I was feeling sad... It was many things. And I found out that these signs were being sent to many fans! This was so amazing. And it was when we found out that Michael was calling us to participate on his mission here on Earth. Oh, how happy this made me feel!
After that, I began to enter forums, blogs, communities, where so many fans were in real pain for Michael's passing, to send them some energy and prayers.. to write words of comfort.. I wanted to help them, to see them all happy. This gave me so much joy and I could feel Michael's approve with this. I also entered spiritual communities, where we would discuss not only about Michael but also about so many enlightening subjects. It was great to share knowledge of spirituality with wonderful people.. And it has been this way, since 2009. I learned so much and I always try to do what our dear friend wishes of us: to heal our world, to treat everyone with love, and to nurture and protect the children.
I always loved children, but after Michael got present in my life (after his passing). I can see them in another point of view, and I love them even more. I always send them blessings, when they're near me.. I really hope we can make this world a better place, for them to live.
What can I say.. I believe nothing happens without a purpose from God, it's all His plan. Michael made me a happier person.. I had gone through really sad moments, a great disappointment, and it hurt so much that I wasn't living, I was existing (Like Michael always says, that we have to truly live, not only to keep existing). Michael's presence helped me to heal this trauma and also to feel that I was being useful to humanity somehow.. He made me feel happy after a long time and I love him so much for this. And for bringing me such a wonderful family, the MJ family. A family of love, respect and union.
Let's all keep his mission alive! Much love to you all =)